1st Amendment; 1st Schmamendment. It's all becoming historical fiction and ya know what… no one really cares. Well, except for those who need a cause or fight on their hands to feel a sense of self worth.

Jacko's in the news but we haven't heard about J-Lo lately and who's interested in the environment anyway. Cash for Clunkers takes the lead and the Red Carpet is always so much more appealing than the real news.

So here's to the bozo journalists that seem to make sh*t up as they go along. Just remember, "no good deed goes unpunished." Just try to help a columnist with some truth. You'll find that you'll go out for a paper in the morning and you'll be in it in the afternoon. It's totally insane that we get paid to write this crap. Stay tuned for more unreal lies and juicy misquotes. Josey Lambchop